well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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