we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
