69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My vagina just recognized that song.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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