I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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