he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
