I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
