if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
