My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
