I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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