When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
