they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
