You're so nebulous sometimes
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
