Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
