so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
