i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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