i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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