All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
