is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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