Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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