honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize