Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
