I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
