Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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