So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
