he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
