I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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