Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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