I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
