are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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