you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
