All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
