I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
