It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
