Welp...herpes.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
