How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize