If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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