we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize