It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
