im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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