you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
