I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
