Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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