I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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