Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
