I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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