Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
