ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
