woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
