I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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