I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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