I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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