Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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