I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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