now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
