We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
