I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
