Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i wish my penis had a tongue
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
